


Place You Say Goodbye

by LykaonArkadia



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Hospitalization, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 04:14:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16360589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LykaonArkadia/pseuds/LykaonArkadia
Summary: Loki’s Avenger wife is injured on a mission. Based of the lyrics from “What Sarah Said” by Death Cab For Cutie. Not a happy ending, please don’t read if this bothers you!





	Place You Say Goodbye

Loki stared down at the sterile too clean floor, his hands clasp in front of him, his back slouched. His sleeves torn from a recent mission, and his eyes bloodshot. The scent of disinfectant burns his nostrils as he takes in each breath, trying to slow them as his mind wanders.

The steady beep in the background of his subconscious coming from the little screen feels like the only thing tying him to this life. And with each slower beep, it feels as if she’s being taken further and further out of his grasp.

His eyes drift shut for a moment, flashes of bloody snow, her screams, and her crumbled body flash through his mind. Shaking his head violently, his eyes fly open and he surveys the room.

“Mr. Odinson?” A nurse says gently as she walks into the room. “It’s time for Mrs. Odinson to go into surgery, we’re going to need you to go out to the waiting room.”

Nodding slowly, Loki stands from his chair and reaches to squeeze his unconscious wife’s hand. Placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, and fighting back the tears that threaten to escape, he exits the room.

Walking into the room, soulless empty eyes look up at him, awaiting their own news. Seeing he’s one of them, all eyes drift back to the floor. That fucking too shiny, too bright, too sterile fucking floor.

Depositing himself in a seat, he finds himself also gazing back down at the same floor. The florescent lights and reflective surface have his eyes sore and tired, but he refuses to close them once again. Refuses to relive that moment again.

Looking over to the table on his right, he shuffles through the year old magazines, and finally grabs one to flip through. Family Circle the title glares back at him. Something they might never have now. Skimming the pages, articles of family meals, bedtime techniques, and planning the perfect family vacation squeeze at his heart.

Not even five days ago he and Y/N laid in their bed, her head on his chest, his arms around her frame as they talked about starting a family. Leaving behind their life of fighting in the Avengers to start a simple one somewhere out in the country.

“Somewhere that gets cold,” he chuckles remembering her words. Somewhere cold where he can be comfortable.

Since their marriage, he’d allowed himself to dream of little smiling children with blue-green eyes and Y/H/C hair. A home full of laughter and love.

Looking at the smiling children at the top of the article he’s currently on, he sighs and closes the magazine before depositing it back on the table.

The endless chatter of some talk show on the tv no one is watching filters into his mind as he thinks back to even just yesterday.

Suiting up for a mission, Y/N had pulled him into one last kiss before they got onto the jet. He’d stared into her Y/E/C eyes one last time before disembarking from the jet at his drop off point, just nodding but not saying a word. He’d always been too conscious of the other Avengers around to show his affection to her, and now it stings his heart that his last interaction with her was just a nod.

It’s the nature of their job. That someday you might not come back. A nature they both knew about. But not one he was ready to accept now that it stood at his doorstep.

He’d been the one to find her. Y/N’s scream echoed through the valley, and he knew. He knew in that moment. Racing to the source of her scream, he found her body broken and crumbled on the ground. The snow around her stained with crimson rivers flowing every which direction. Her eyes staring at nothing, her mouth agape, and a large gash in her suit where more blood streamed from. His heart clenched further as he noticed her bird-like wings laying ripped from her body on either side of her. A bloody angel in the snow.

He’d pulled her into his arms immediately, an illusion encasing them as he raced for the jet, yelling over their com that she was down. In the jet he tried desperately to heal her, but his magic could do little more than stabilize her as they raced for the nearest hospital.

One surgery immediately upon arrival. Followed by hours of sitting and waiting. Various tests, many bandage changes later, no improvement.

Now nearly twenty-four hours later he sits and waits as they take another attempt at surgery to stop the internal bleeding.

A door opening pulls him from his thoughts, his eyes glancing to the clock on the wall as he realizes two hours have passed. Glancing toward the door he knows he holds the same look as all the others in the room as the nurse enters.

Lifeless eyes. In the place where you say goodbye, and your life changes forever. All hinging on the words of one person. Everyone waiting for their own name to be on the lips of the person entering. Hoping and dreading their name being read from that clipboard. The waiting room. Where all time stops, and your sanity hangs in the balance.

“Loki Odinson?” The nurse calls out to the sea of faces.

He steels his emotions as he pulls himself from the chair and crosses the room, trying to read the news on her face.

She nods briefly, and holds the door open for him to follow her in silence as they approach a closed room.

“The doctor will be with you in just a moment sir, wait here,” she states walking away briskly.

Loki’s heart beats frantically in his chest as he stares at the door besides him. Within a few minutes the doctor exits the room, pulling the door shut behind him quickly.

“Mr. Odinson?” He asks holding his own clipboard.

“Yes,” he confirms nodding his head, “How is my wife?”

The man’s eyes soften, a look of devastation on his face as he looks back at him.

Loki knew. Just that look. He knew.

“Mr. Odinson, I’m so sorry,” he states. “We tried everything we could, but she didn’t make it.”

The words rattle around Loki’s head as he stares through the man before him. Not really sinking in, just crashing against the inside of his skull not really comprehending.

“You can.. go inside and say your goodbye if you would like,” the doctor says as he steps away from the door. “Take as long as you need.”

He nods stiffly as his hands go to the door. After a moment he slowly pushes it open and enters the eerily silent room.

The steady sound of beeps no longer reach his ears, the thin red line flat on the small screen beside the bed.

He approaches the bed cautiously, still not believing the news even as he stares down at her face. Her skin paler than before and her body covered by a thick white sheet. She almost looks like she’s just asleep, but the stillness tells him differently.

His angel, as he called her, grounded. Her light, her wings, and her joy ripped from her so soon. He used to tell her a monster like himself didn’t deserve an angel. Her face would scrunch up in annoyance as she fought the idea that he was a monster. She always saw the good in him. Always defended him. Always gave him another chance.

Looking on the empty shell of the love of his life, he’s struck by the words she told him on their wedding day.

“Love is watching someone die,” he mutters, the tears he’d been holding back now rolling down his cheeks. “Side by side through everything until the day one of us takes our last breath.”

“I’m not ready,” he whispers as he leans down to press a kiss to her still lips. “I’m not ready…”

Clasping her hand, he kneels beside the bed as the tears drip down to that clean sterile floor. In the place you go to say goodbye.


End file.
